school school..

sometimes i wish school was more to the fun side than the study type...everyone hates study dont you. Its hard trying to concentrate yet your mind keep wondering around dreaming..

OH SHYTE THAT REMINDS ME..i have to plant the seeds i got today..again my fav line
" AHH lazy lah later only i do "

Sej project really kills..its boring trying to find something about marriage
eshh having bad moods when it comes to study...not good i guess. xD

i wonder how can people stand listening to teacher? i mean i do but can never pay attention at times.i wonder why..;D (no dont think stupid k)

lol life has no meaning without.....computer and of course handphones. But imagine you have both and suddenly

TAK ada internet and reception...i'll be dead in few hours time if there aint nothing to do and no technology..xD real city boy i guess

happiness is confusing at times

walking around seeing people with different thing that makes them happy. Girlfriends, toys, money...etc
whats the real meaning of happiness..what makes you happy

is walking with a girl you love makes you happy ? or seeing them smile ?

i always wanted her to be happy and smile..no matter what she choose. remember good thing isn't always the easiest...is it that hard to make someone happy
its like they are happy yet you are sitting here mourning about the pain you feel inside and yet you feel happy to see her smile and laugh

i have seen many couples in 1u and places but what is it that binds them together..that makes them happy.
happiness can be stripped away from someone just like that. some suicide cause they cant find that missing thing that completes their happiness. will i end up like them?
will i be pulled away from someone i care so much and makes me happy ?

everyone says..there are other girls out there and even BETTER girls

but will that BETTER girls bring as much happiness as i feel when she is around ?
will they make me smile inside out as how she does everytime she looks at me...

NO they wont.. cause all i can think about is her that makes me so happy..

and waiting is my only hope

today was funn

dunno how to explain to you...well its just that sat isnt that boring after all

was in the computer lab the whole time...COOL EH

we played mafia..then came TRUTH OR DARE

its was seriously funny and fun

mr kevin had to hump the wall..well i hope he doesnt leave any droppings on it..you know what i mean

mr patrick had to spell my name using missisipy...and i had to do two stuffs

first i had to asume i like sara and ask her out on a date..trust me you must be sporting for this k

so it went like this

*lean against the wall

*sara looking at me weirdly..

Me: hey wanna

*sara move away

Me: can you stand still and let me finish...haha

*i moved closer

Me: would you want to go out with me on a date ?Sara: NOOOO

Me: MR KEVIN SHE REJECTED ME

*everyone laughed

then i had to do the walts with ashley...she isnt a bad dancer though..ahhaha

well then i went out with mum..yada yada moives yada yada..thats about it i guess

XD

scouts scouts..guess what

I PASSED KEAHLIAN..
no not boasting but its been a while and I was seriously doubting about the badge in my hands. Well now have to do logbook..ahhah sad case

Anyway things arent the same anymore in school. I mean my emotions change like the flow of the river. One minute this the next another. haihz sorry for whoever I scolded or whatever I did..cause I aint myself lately

The inside of something still stays eventhough outside changes. What if I am still that old joshua. But I really changed....its complicating. Trying to impress people by being who I aint..the specific someone. The specific someone

Thinking the troubles will go away. The paradise will come back. But i have waited and still no sign. Can time slow the pain i feel....it cant

Its like sitting near the ocean...looking at the horizon which is nothing compared to what I see beyond just your outlooks. Listening to the wave of the ocean. Lovestream?? I guess its nothing in reality

Guess what. Waiting for you is worth while but how long will it take? I dunno..there are temptations all around. Asking me to go back to my old life and leave you. But I am still standing right here the exact spot where you left me..waiting...

oh my JOSH its delicious..ate two of those man..it was amazing

poserrssss...

vicky:where is my date elena:i think i found him...haha no they didnt say that dont worry

walk away from the camera..XD

staircase to successhawt isnt she..elena now i know why you and callie are related

your PK is posing friends

my bed was the top one..LOL miss camp againn

looky..the guys dorm damn messy

elena's cousin..hawt leh

jun wei drummer

vicky going wild for goddd...praise the lord

wworship practise..cant you see they are all for god

again i as i say..isnt it beautiful...i miss camp

aint the campsite beautiful

trust me these bugs are BIG and HUGE

teachers table and the adults with PASTOR SANDRA

she was giving me the "what are you doing" stare..pretty aint she..hahah dont take it the wrong way..sorry aint thinking straight

i see the sprite again

say your prayers...AMEN

like i said look at them eat man...

look at them eat...XD

see see the sprite i bought for vicky..and aud is dayreaming

smile as we finish you up

delicious food. trust me it taste good but i ate very little

SPRITE!! cost alot man

tze lin. Jeremy's mortal..you should see what he gives her

posersss...cant remember which head is which

jeremy look..its your date

" i have no sense of humuor" says Datin

part of me wants you and part of me needs you

mismatch night...dont we look cool

derrick and sarahh

pose no.2

posers inside us revealed in cf camp

Si Khay doing his work...hhaha

poh hua and me...i think it was the last day then we took the picturess

there this is the picture of him stripping..JUST AN ACT K

practise for talents night...JAMES BONDDD IS MEEE..cool ehh and jeremy is the stripper

our number one member...cool albert...nice job doing work and thanks. nice meeting you

finally a descent picture..ahah hawt girls at the back cool guys in front

we were having a lil practise for the walts but didnt go so well

see those girls...posing at the guys dormm...dunno carmen gone where

okay no comments on this one

dunno who did this pic..hillarious

jeremy's CUTE face...so called..

my "angel" that gave me stuffs to eat..thanks suet mei


thats about all the ppics i guess...well its freeaking lot

and guess there are still lots of places and space so what the heck

simply type random stuffs only and remember

COME FOR CF CAMP

ITS THE BOMB

ITS MEMORIABLE

ITS FUN

ITS TOUCHING..i cried okay

ITS AMAZING..damn lots of bugs okay

ITS SUPER..cold ?

ITS SUFFERING..if you dont make your beds

ITS EVERYTHING THAT GOD WANTS US TO DO

LEARN TO BE US

LEARN TO BE GOOD AND SINLESS..try

THATS ALL I GUESS..peace out..amen

XD

CF CAMP WAS BOMB

imagine going there just being your ordinary self but when you leave you are different

not only does the words god give us is beautiful but the way he touches us all from the inside
breaking into tears ..okay i did cry okay

it was fun

the part where i kena twice for not making my bed was seriously irritating fact
and the boys dorm was amazing..passage to the upper hill, straight to the hall and to the windows of GIRLS DORMS..lol

and when talent time it was just funny you should have seen us act
and to think i brought my logbook to keep myself entertained

poor dang was homesick..just he is happy now

and yesterday was the best of all

we tried to prank the security which does the checking for whoever isnt asleep
we woke up at 2 to prank them with the clogate shaving cream and loads of tissues in our hands

we open the door...creak....then suddenly derrick open the toilet door and there was jeremy's[security] face in front of him..jeremy shouted GG then the rest of security woke up and sprayed water..i was able to escape with jeremy ang but decided to turn back and join them

then we open the door and was pulled in...haha suppose to get punish for that but didnt..poor them
cleaned up their room for nothing..just to see us go free

then we had this games..man wheelbarrel was the worse
i had to carry carmen yang on my back and guess what..my back is aching terriblely
and i mean serious painn...no joke..ahahha she is kinda heavy but no offence

then there is weird dressing night..haha was happy for some reason which you peeps must not know...till i post some pics lah that is

well all is over now and we are back..i hope we furfill what paster sandra wants us to do...AMEN

there is this two indian's who went up to the mountains...

allan: eh macha its so cold out here lah. freezing out here deh

indi: yea lah macha i know lah. its so cold

allan: yea lah..dunno whose bloddy idea was it to come out here to the moutains cant even piss

indi: nvm deh..abit more till the top

allan: its so cold the wind passing through lah. just now went to piss the water became ice before it touched the ground. had to break it off lah deh..

indi: ah can you stop talking about cold and change the bloody subject. remember waht the mat salleh told us. think positive deh..think hot hot hot

allan: okay okay. lets pretend we are ordering tosai from breakfields

indi: okay can

(pretending to talk to a person)

allan: eh brother boleh kasi buat two tosai......satu roti planta satu roti telur tambah sambal...and two teh tarik tapi jangan goncang tarik saja. And boleh kasi tutup kipas tak banyak sejuk ni..

indi: okay okay just stop lah macha...

allan: why?? i thought..

indi: not only i am freezing now lah deh you made me hungry also okay

allan: i thought you say think positive positive positive??

indi: nvm

[THE END]

have you ever thought of walking away from what you feared most
just forgetting what you have done
walking through the neighbourhood not to think but to hear what people think
its funny everytime i look outside at night, its just an opportunity to hear

walking in the mall seeing what i've dream of having
the thing you see in cinema's when you are watching others with companion

looking left and right yet still doesnt feel the same even if people surrounds you
must have some special thing thats missing all this while
the one thing that makes a guy sing his heart and maybe some cash out

the thing is why must great things come so slow when you are suffering...just wishing a breath of happiness is breathed in...

places i go doesnt feel the same when i look around..playing pool by myself when others holding their companion's hands..why am i saying all of these

is it because the girl in my life has faded from reality or was it never real
i dreamt you were in my arms that night. You made it snow.
Snowflakes never seem so beautiful till that night.
Then out of a sudden, it rained..like the tears in my eyes

the next thing i know you werent there anymore
across the streets i saw you. You seem so close yet i can't bring myself closer to you
there goes..all dreams are gone when i open my eyes
the smiles in your face faded away and all i could do was to treasure that dream

as i asked myself the same question
what have i been doing wrong, whats the purpose of this suffering..still no answer
the time is yet to come till i can hear that answer to my questions
just wait...i am still here...waiting

wow last night was abit tiring but still was fun..

went akarkarya with weng wai..bugger then called dang and he say everything not planned. Next time he plan better then i go. Wan Jyn, Weng Wai and I were like waiting for 1 hour and yet everyone havent come

then we jammed and suddenly got a call from Sabreena asking where was I
well like the old sayiing. time flies when you are having fun

and weng wai and i flew to 1u..actually there are some "things" happened along the way and i dont need to tell. its embarrasing and tiring

so we ran to pick elena and xiann up

went late for the movie. they pushed us away . same old story

then we ate dinner...I AM NEVER A FAN OF DELIFRANCE ANYMORE...so expensive yet not worthied

then xiann stayed over and guess what...last night he asked whether i snored then i replied "i dunno but if i do also wont be loud"

and so happened i woke up to on the fan and i found out he was snoring..to the max volume.hahaha and oh yea he is still out cold sleeping and its 12.33 already

thats about it

YAY exams are over ..finally

tired of the world of silence and daydreaming blankly...its boring

either sleep stare blankly or check papers..
nothing to do but stare at the papers with grief and pain..yet it changes nothing
wondering what will happen if you changed one answer to the next... its a mystery

damn i am gonna fail..well lets wait and see